Motherhood

10 Things I Want My ADHD Child To Know Before He Is 10

November 21, 2017

My son has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) since he was five years old. It was a long hard road for our family as we went through the process of seeing many different professional. Now my little typhoon has just turned eight years old. He is smarter then your average eight year old and as fiery as he is clever. He is our brilliant little handful, that isn’t so little anymore.

Raise our boy has been a road full of highs and extremely low points but he still makes us all proud each and everyday. Whether he is having a good or a bad day we start and finish each and everyday with the same words.

I Love You.

Those three little words are so much more important for a child with mental health and neurological problems. It shows acceptance and safety even on the worst days. I hope he is able to wake up every morning and know how much he is loved and that we love him for the special little man he is.

Now that our brilliant boy his turned eight it has got me thinking how fast he is growing. He has been through so much already and I know the future ahead of him will be full of challenges. The teenage years are not far away which will only make things a lot more confusing. There are 10 things I want him to know and understand. That is why I am writing all of it down for him, and for other parents in my position.

Here is 10 things I want my ADHD Child To Know Before He Is 10

1 ~ I love him just the way he is

My son might be more than a handful then my other children. He might know ever single button of mine to push until I am at my wits end. But I wouldn’t change anything about him even if I could. I love my son just the way he is.

2 ~ He is amazing inside and out

My little typhoon is truly an amazing and unique soul. He sees the world from a different perspective which is so beautiful. While someone sees a red rose he can see the change in the colour on the petals and the one of a kind curve on the stem. He will notice how the petals of the rose overlap and share every thing he sees and sense more then anyone else. He may be different but why would he want to be the same.

3 ~ He can be anything he wants

I have heard it may times over. I am sorry your sons has ADHD, it must be so difficult knowing he will for ever struggle to be what he wants. Well, no it isn’t. My son is my son and he can shine as bright as any other star in the sky. He can be anything he wants to be. He just has to find something that he is interested in and love. When anyone is doing something they love they can never fail. It is the same for my son, only he can stop himself from being who he wants to be.

4 ~ He is not his label

I want my son to understand that while he does have ADHD that does not define who he is. His diagnose is not a excuse or a way to label himself. It is something that allows him to see the world in a different light. He should never be ashamed of his diagnoses because it is an advantage if he chooses to make it one. I want my son to know that there is nothing wrong with being different because all of the people who dare to stand out do great and amazing things. His ADHD is not a label that defines him, only he can define himself.

5 ~ I will always be here when he needs me

I am and will always be his Mum. Nothing can change that ever. No matter how hard the path is or how far he falls. I will always be here in the background loving and supporting him. If he needs a cuddle,some guidance or even a view from a different perspective. I will be there for him. He is always learning, growing and changing with each day that passes. I will be here for my son in his brightest hours and his darkest days. That I will let him live, learn and explore the world around him and be there when he needs me. I will not turn my back even if we don’t always agree.

6 ~ He is the only one that can judge himself

We live in a world that boost about acceptance yet we still judge those around us. Like every other child his age, I want my son to understand that he is the only one that can judge him. He should not pay attention to those who judge him because others opinions are should not matter. Just like he can make his own choices in life only he can judge those choices.

7 ~ He is brave and strong

My son is an inspirations and i want him to know it. Everyday will be full of ups and downs that only he can face. Even after a bad day he is brave enough to start again the next day and try again. He has the strength to never give up and to carry on with what he needs to do. The struggles he will face because of his disorder will not define him. He is brave enough to keep going and strong enough to never give up.

8 ~ He is allowed to be himself

No matter how much my son is told to stop fidgeting or how much he is told to stop talking about stuff others have no interest in. I want him to know he is allowed to be himself. He should never be afraid to show interest in the things he love. Even if other make fun of him, he doesn’t need to change himself to fit the mold that is expected. He might have ADHD and yes that will mean he will fidget but he should never be ashamed to be who he is. I want him to know that he should never try so hard to fit in with those around him, when he is clearly meant to stand out. He is who he is and he should never change it for anyone.

9 ~ His ADHD is an advantage

Will he might not know it yet, having ADHD can be an amazing advantage. He has a greater ability to to multitask and micro-manage then those around him. It might take him a little bit longer to start on his work but when he does he will not stop until it is complete. His future is so bright and I know that he is destined for great and amazing things. That is once he finds something he loves.

10 ~ He Will Never Be Alone

No matter how bad his situations he finds himself in may be. He will never ever be alone. I want my son to know that he has a family who loves him for ever and for always. There will always be someone near by to help and advise him when he need it. We are a large family who care and love each other equally. He will never have to fight is battles alone, we are always here when he needs us.

Time seems to pass us by so quickly. As I get older time seems to get shorter. I love my son for who he is inside and out. In two short years my son will be ten and it still feels like yesterday that I held him in my arms for the first time. On the day he was born I made a promise to myself, like most mothers do, to love and protect him forever. One paper he is different from other children his age but to me he is my son.