We hear it said a lot, nobody is perfect. We can certainly pick out our own flaws easily enough. But when we hear other people point out our imperfections it can be extremely painful. Now that somebody else has said something you already time about yourself then it must be true. People can say some pretty hurtful things to each other at times without a second thought. So when it comes to children who have be diagnosed with ADHD there a just something that should never be spoken. By strangers and parents alike because ADHD children are very aware of their own problems and faults. They know something is medically diagnosed is wrong with them. They feel stigmatized. They feel like an outcast that doesn’t fit in like those around them. We want to lift them up to be successful not bring them down by pointing out there flaws.
Here is a list of 10 Things You Should Never Say To An ADHD Child.
1 ~ Why Cant You Be Normal
Children who have ADHD already feel out of place from other kids their age. They can feel social excluded by other children because of their behaviours. Why should they have to fit in with everyone else. Lets be honest, normal can be boring. You can not force someone to be something they are not. They are who they are for a reason and everyone’s differences should be celebrated. ADHD children have this unique ability to think outside the box. We should be helping them to understand who they are not what they are not.
2 ~ You’re So Stupid
ADHD children usually have low self-esteem even if they don’t show it. They spend their days battling through school trying to be accepted by other kids. They already feel like they are stupid so don’t need to be reminded of it. Even the phrase “why would you do something so stupid” can have a massive impact on them. We want ADHD children to succeed and achieve in their day to day life. By referring to them as being stupid in any manner only stops them from trying to be anything other than stupid.
3 ~ If Only You Focused
Focusing is a hard thing to do for even a child to be considered to be normal. Children who have been diagnosed with ADHD try to focus as much as they possible can. Their effort should be praised so they will try keep up the good work. By stating “if only you focused” their effort is made to seem like a failure and they will not try as much as they would if they were praised. Some positive reinforcement can work wonders for a child with ADHD.
4 ~ Clearly You Haven’t Taken Your Meds
Medicating a child with ADHD is almost always a last resort in a diagnostic journey. Medication should therefore be looked at as a tool rather than a solution or quick fix. Any statement referring to whether an ADHD child medication should never be spoken. Medicated or not a ADHD child will still have good and bad days. Their struggle through the day is hard enough without someone treating them different because they believe they are not medicated.
5 ~ Why Can’t Your Be Like Everyone Else
How boring would the world be if everyone was the same. ADHD children may not be considered to be in the average rage in a lot of aspects of their life, but why should the have to be? They are unique and wonderful children who are who they are. We shouldn’t be trying to compare them to anyone else. They should be encouraged to chase the stars and become who they want to be. We can not fit squares through circles. So ADHD have a different outlook on life, a different way of learning and think outside the box. They are doers not thinkers. They are not like everyone else and they should be encouraged to be who they are. One day their ADHD traits might just be something new and refreshing the world is looking for.
6 ~ I Love You, But
There should never be a “but” put in there anywhere. It should be “I Love You” that is it. All your ADHD child wants is to be loved for who they are. Keep your but’s to yourself. ADHD children just want you to love them for who they are inside and out. So don’t ruin it for them.
7 ~ You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself
Why should they be ashamed? Did they do something that was different to “normal”, did they be themselves. Nobody should be made to feel ashamed for being who they are. ADHD children are unique and full of life. Sure they can make some incredibly bad choices from time to time. But find me someone who doesn’t.
8 ~ I Wouldn’t Wish A ADHD Child On Anyone
ADHD children are hard work. But at the same time they are so incredible. I have never understood why people would say that. Parents or strangers. ADHD children are a blessing not a burden and they should never be made to feel like one. They should be made special for the little person they are inside. They see the world from a different perspective. Not one single child in the world should ever be made to feel like a burden to anyone.
9 ~ You’re Just Like Your Father
This should not be said to any child, let alone a child with ADHD who is trying to find their way in the word. They are themselves and should be themselves. Stop comparing them to someone they are not. They want your attention for who they are. Not to feel rejected because they remind you of somebody else. They just want to be able to be themselves.
10 ~ I Hate You
How cruel do you want to be. Nobody like to be told that they are hated. When it is said to an ADHD child the effect it will have on them will be long lasting. If you are a parent at the end of your rope just walk away before you say this out of angry. Your child seeks your approve when it feels like the whole world doesn’t understand or want them. You are their anchor, their safe place when things get hard. If your say this only once to your child when you are struggling you have destroyed the relationship with your ADHD child for life. They will forever feel alone and unwanted. Even if you say it out of anger and don’t mean a word. An apology will never ease the words that have been spoken from their mind.
A child with medically diagnosed ADHD is a challenge to any parent, extended family or educators that are in contact with this child. What is best to remember is that encouragement of positive behaviour works wonders. We all need to stop pointing out their flaws or where they fall short. They can do amazing things in their life with the right learning environment, praise, love and understanding. The world can be their oyster if only they are allowed to be how they are.
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