I currently have seven kids in my care, but we are never late to anything. They always have a packed lunch, clean clothes and the house is in a somewhat responsible state, well most of the time. Now I am not trying to toot my own horn because I am only running at 80% of where I could be as a stay at home mum. I just wanted to share some of the ways that help me not only survive as a stay at home mum/guardian to seven kids while being pregnant, but how I thrive at my current role.
Being a stay at home mum is one of the toughest roles you can ever have. Your are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are no breaks, no holiday leave and not sick days. And let’s not forget that you do it all for free without much of a thanks. When your a stay at home mum, a quick trip to the shops without the kids is like a mini vacation. It is so easy to see why so many mum’s out there feel like they are getting stuck in some mum funk. Or they can completely burn out. Being a mum is hard and there is not manual.
It doesn’t have to be this way. When you look around the school yard you see every type of mum. There is always that one stay at home mum who just seems to have everything put together. They just seem to know what the heck they are doing. But don’t be fooled. These mum’s are just like you. the only difference is they seem to follow the same ways to rock the whole stay at home mum gig.
1 – Start Your Day Right
What I mean by this is that you need to get yourself ready for the day first. Hopefully before the kids open their eyes. Having a morning kid-free shower, being able to do your makeup and take the time to find something nice wear. These mornings are heaven and you will feel a lot calmer and prepared. That wardrobe full of comfortable active wear might be calling your name. But we need to give it a miss every once in a while. If you feel good about yourself it can and will change your whole look on the day. We are the mum and when we feel good about ourselves, we are much more happier role models for our children. It is OK to take the time to get ourselves ready first.
2 – Make The Time To Exercise
Yes I said exercise. Lets just quote legally Blonde here for a second. “Exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy”. You don’t have to be on a fitness plan or weight-loss journey to exercise. All it takes it putting on some tunes and dancing with the kids, or taking a walk around the block with your family. It doesn’t take much to exercise, just get up and get moving. Whether you decide to get your kids involved with some exercise around the house or make time to get to a gym with a kids play area. Make some time to get moving and get those happy little endorphins flowing.
3 – Seek Out New Friendships and Nurture The Good Ones
Having a good group of friends can really improve your metal health. For some of us, including me making friends and maintaining friendships can be a hard one. Just remember that you don’t need to stay to a small clique of friends. Yes you may be a mum but it is also great to have friends who are not mum’s yet. have non-mum friends allows you to have some kid-free friends coffee dates to talk about things other than your kids. You might have couple friends for adult date nights, mum friends for play-dates and non-mum friends for some kid free time. Friends can come and go over the years but always look for new friendships while still maintaining the strong old ones.
4 – Dont Be Afraid To Ask For Help
The whole mum gig is hard. We are constantly told what we shouldn’t do but there isn’t a manual to what we should do. So lets just face facts that as mum’s we have a whole tone of things that we have to do. Our kids depend on us from the moment they open their eyes. We are managers, maids, nurses, cleaners, referees, counselors and role models. Being a Mum is overwhelming and when we hit the mum funk, we need to not be afraid to ask for some help. Asking for help doesn’t make us sucky mum or failures in the slightest. It makes us the same as every other mum out there. We all need help from time to time and it’s ok to ask for it. It is nothing to be ashamed off.
5 – Have A Kick A$$ Routine
If you are a mum that wings it you may be a little more stressed and overwhelmed then the mum’s who have a routine. In my own home I have routines for each day, not only for myself but for my ADHD child as well. Having a good routine makes the day run more smoothly and the kids don’t seem to nag as much. If you see those mum’s who just seem to have their life together, then they have some sort of routine in place. Their kids wake up at the same time, they have set meal and snack time and even have some play structure to their days. Even the Mum’s themselves have cleaning routine for the week and have some sort of weekly plan worked out before the week has even started. Being predictable helps the kids in your home with their behavioral and self-development while we as mum’s can get the out of everyday.
6 – Have Un-negotiable Set Bedtimes
Kids need to sleep and while there are some out there who struggle to drift of to sleep. Having a set and consistent bedtime for kids is very important. This goes hand in hand with having a solid routine. When it comes to bedtime there should be steps for you children to follow in the lead up to bedtime. This will help prepare their minds and bodies for bedtime and hopefully sleep. Once the kids are finally asleep this becomes a sanity saver time after a long day of being a stay at home mum.
7 – Encourage Independent Playtime
Stay at home mum’s already have a lot of tasks on their plate. We don’t need to be the sole source of entertainment for our children as well. Children need to be encouraged to play independently so that we, as stay at home mum’s can complete what we need to each day. While there is always arts, crafts and other fun hands on activities that you can share with your child. Allowing them to be us imaginative play and learn how to play sole helps them to find constructive ways to entertain themselves when there is housework to be done. Clothes are meant to get dirty and we need to learn to just let kids be kids so we can do what we need to get done.
8 – Expect the Un-expected
While talking about how effective and helpful having a routine for each day is, it is also good to be prepared for the unexpected to happen. Kids are kids after all, they will always be looking for mischief and getting messy where ever you go. Most mum’s who rock the whole stay at home mum or just the mum gig in general always have back up clothes, carry a pack of tissues or baby wipes in their handbag. They are always prepared for almost anything that can happen with kids, including having a small supply of vomit bags in their car somewhere.
9 – Make Time for Me Time
While there are still a lot of mum’s out there who believe that we choose to be mum’s. Which means our job is to raise our kids and always put there needs above our own. I however, believe having me time at least once a week is important. We can not be our best mum-selves for our kids if we don’t allow ourselves some breathing space. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant like a spa day. It could be as simple as have a body scrub or taking a bath. After you clear all the toys away that is. We might be stay at home mum’s but we still need to be able to recharge our own batteries every once in a while.
10 – Be Happily Imperfect
Being a stay at home mum is one of the hardest gigs we can ever do. We can feel like complete failures so easily. Those around us can make to feel like we are achieving nothing in life if we choose this parenting pathway. But for any parent out there not just those stay at home mum’s, you need to happy with your role. Being a parent is a hard job and there is not right or wrong way to do things. But there sure is a lot of people out there who are all to will to judge us for every little thing we do. Once you accept there is no such thing as perfect. You can finally start being a bit more happy in your role in life. Be yourself and enjoy you kids, you can be happily imperfect and still get the most out of everyday. You don’t need to do it all.
Well I hope you have enjoyed this post. Thank you so much for reading and don’t forget to be the best mum only you can be for your kids.
No Comments