I have been debating with myself where or not I should post this. So if you are reading this it means that I have finally decided to hit that publish button.
School holidays is a time I get to enjoy having all seven kids home. Let’s just say I don’t miss the morning routine of feeding, organizing and getting all seven kids loaded in the car each morning. We have our own kids aged 8, 5, 4 and 2. and lets not forget about that bump due in December 2018. Then we have our plus kids, that we care for as well who are aged 6, 5 and 2 years old.
School holidays are slightly dysfunctional bliss in our home. No school and no kinder.
No need to leave the house unless we are on an adventure. A good family fun outing, just me and the kids while soon to be hubby is at work.
But every now and again we do need to go to the shops and it is my most dreaded outing. Not only do I stress about the kids running off in every direction as soon as their feet hit the ground. But then there are those nosy people or the ones who just stare and shake their heads at me.
Unfortunately we still live in a world where judgmental people still thinks it is ok to express their opinion. There are still those people who think it’s appropriate to ask inappropriate questions without a second thought.
I have to say, I am used to it know even though it shouldn’t be something I should have to become accustomed to. But I seem to be running into these not so shy people shortly after the birth of my fourth child. So now with seven children in my care plus the growing bump this has become a more regular thing for me.
Here are some of the the questions, statements and random things I have heard thus far.
“Are they all yours?”
Is usually the most come question I hear. I could go into explaining that no they are not but I honestly don’t want to be stuck standing there telling a person with no business asking in the the first place that, no only four are. The other are currently in our care for as long as needed. The most easiest way out is to just say yes and hope that is the end of the awkward conversation before it begins.
Do They All Have The Same Dad?
Yes I get that question a lot. Way more than you would probably think. I used to get this question even when I only had my own four. I honestly don’t have the time to explain my whole life story. So I usually just say yes and walk away. I don’t really feel like I should be obligated to stand there and explain in front of the kids about Kinship care and what it is, or how they came in to my care. I also don’t want to get into the whole Dad’s don’t always have to be blood related to be dad’s conversation. Yes, I know all two well everyone has an opinion on that subject. Saying yes works, not only from me against those nosy people but also protects the kids that are with me as well.
You must have your hands full.
Well yes thank you for stating the obvious. I wouldn’t have realized if you hadn’t of said that. Honestly though, I think I manage very well with all seven kids by myself. I mean sure I am outnumbered but I am used to it. Just because I have more children, doesn’t mean I am any different than the other parents out there. I know how to manage them while out in public, even if they are having a bad day. By this stage it has become a routine.
I don’t envy you.
That’s OK I don’t envy you either. I couldn’t imagine our lives any different. Our children are hardly ever bored. They always have someone to play with. Someone to play hide and seek with. They have someone to find and cause trouble with. And someone to help sneak the not so hidden chocolate out of the kitchen cupboard. We might juggle getting them in and out of the car but we are happy with our family crew.
Are you really pregnant again?
Doesn’t the bump say it all. It is not exactly hard to ignore the baby bump I have going on right now. I honestly don’t give a dam about anyone’s opinion on our lives. When I already have four of my own, plus the three extras. What is one more honestly? There are no laws on how many kids I can have, I am not even 30 yet. I could keep going until I was going through menopause but I am happy with the kids I have.
You Must Be Insane
No I don’t think I am insane. Well not to insane anyways, I just have a lot of love to go around. I live on minimum sleep, maximum effort. A parents job is 24/7 all year round. It might sound crazy to those who know their children limits but some people are just ok with having larger families. Amazingly and maybe even mind boggling to others, we are not even one of those huge families. I know people with more children who cope extremely well. Just because I have a lot of kids under my roof doesn’t make me any less or any more of a parent then that of a one or two children family.
Is your Husband Snipped Now?
Well this has to be one of the most nosy and most inappropriate question I have ever been asked. Yet some people with a little less understanding of boundaries seem to think this question is in some way OK to ask a complete stranger. When I get this question, which isn’t all that often, I like to mess with people.
I mean honestly how is this question even somewhat appropriate to ask? So I like to say that we plan to have one a year until we cant anymore. I love the look of shock spread across their face as I explain how we are saving for a 24 seater mini bus and plan on filling every single seat. To be honest, my future hubby basically sprinted to the doctors to get his vasectomy done after we discovered we were pregnant with baby number five. Not that it is anyone’s business outside our family but it is the truth.
Maybe Your Should Buy A Bigger Tv
I get told this a whole heap. It is a fun joke that we have been hearing since the birth of our third child. There was only a 12 month gap between him and his sister. In certain times and places this is actually funny to say among people we know. But when a complete stranger says it, the humous side is kind of lost. I have been told this by strangers at the post office, at playgrounds and even by randoms while shopping. They just blurt it out as they are walking past.
How Much Do You Spend On Food?
It may sound strange but because we are a large family, we actually budget weekly. We have more mouths to feed but with meal planning, budgeting and shopping around we manage to keep our grocery bill cost down.
They Must Cost You A Fortune.
Yes having a large family does cost more then the average family. There are more birthdays to celebrate and more sporting fees to pay for. But it all comes down to spending money wisely and get the most out of the budget. The grocery bill is actually very low, and nobody goes hungry. If anything having a larger family has taught us how to manage our money better. But I will share more about our budgeting hack in the future.
Try Closing your legs?
I have only heard this one once. It came from someone who looked really rough around the edges and down on there lucky. Unfortunately there are some people out there who still believe saying things like this is perfectly fine and somehow entertaining. It is not nice but it does happen. I completely ignored this guy because let’s face it, people who believe saying this statement to any women under any circumstances and believes it to be OK, is frankly not worth the time of day or acknowledgement. Mean statements like this is more of a reflection of the person saying it rather than having anything to do with me or my blended family.
Don’t get me wrong,
I get that people have questions when see a large family. I mean we must look crazy as we unload the car car packed full of kids and car seats. They get curious about us. Most people stop after two or three kids. But for us life had other plans, that doesn’t mean we should automatically become a walking circus attraction. Yet it happens, more often then I would have thought it would.
We are a large family, we have seven soon to be eight kids. They may not be all ours and our family may increase and decrease in size in the future but for now, that is just how our family is. Whether the kids we care for are our own, or ones that have been placed in our care. It doesn’t matter. We are happy, the kids are happy and life is good.
Thanks for reading xxx
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